China and "the Ladies"

Dear Esteemed Reader,

This next post will be hilarious, if you understand that "the ladies" is in fact a euphemism and you are not offended by a frank discussion regarding the previously mentioned topic, and the reaction they have received here in this far off land.  Please stop reading this post, if you do not find this subject matter as funny as I do.  By continuing to read, you agree to not pass judgement about me for this honest discussion.  Really this post is very funny. 

Gimena


Okay, so I think I may have over sold this post, but here it goes. 

For the past two weeks, as I go out, there has been a lot of staring, giggling, pointing, and wanting to take photos of me.  Now, I had read, that some people in Shanghai, still found foreigners to be extremely exotic and perplexing.  Seeing as most of the people giggling were 14 year old GIRLS, I did not think this was the case.

When I told people my tale, they just flattered me, quite pointlessly, by telling me that it was because I am beautiful.  Really?  Does anyone besides a self-absorbed idiot buy that load of steaming caca?

I ventured onto the Internet, so that I may find the answer in its infinite wisdom.  After 15 minutes, booyah ka-sha.  People were laughing and staring at "the ladies."

Most of you have noticed that my summer wardrobe really prioritizes comfort and staying cool, not such a big priority, "Chinese Moral Sensibility."  Basically, I wear a lot of halter top and strapless dresses. 



Bu hao, hot pot hooker!


It turns out that both are a huge no-no here in China.  See, Chinese people see "the ladies" as pertaining more to actual ladies, the ladies of the night, if you catch my drift.  So yes, people were laughing and staring at me because I looked like a high-class foreign lady of the night.  Hilarious.  Thankfully, I was not asked to render any "services."

One may ask, "How could you not have known this before you left, you numbskull?"  The answer is very simple, ROUGH GUIDE SHANGHAI.  It turns out, it was written by a guy who did not know that this was the case.  He assumed, that because women wear shorts smaller than swimsuit bottoms, and skirts that could double as belts, anything goes.  Well, dear readers, that dude was W-R-O-N-G!

In an attempt to solve this, "I look like a hooker," problem, I decided to hit up some clothing stores.  I could have bought clothes in a Chinese store when I was 8 years old, when I was the same size as most Chinese women.  At this point in my life, there is no way, I could ever fit into their sizes.  "Why is this the case?," you may ask.  It turns out, there are not many brands that make clothing in sizes that accommodate "the ladies." 

So here I am, running around Shanghai, looking like a lady of the night... Just one more story to add to my list of craziness.

I am not convinced this look is any better.

Update:  I did go to H&M, thank god there is one in Shanghai, to buy some less reveling, read: ugly, clothing.  It didn't fully work.  It turns out that showing less skin helps, but prominence is still a issue.  I am just a freak around here.