Jian Tou Fa (Haircut)

I might be having a slight manic phase.

I decided that I wanted to get my haircut to see how it turns out.  Being the diligent Mandarin student I am, I looked up the translation for haircut (jian tou fa) and  I set off to a salon.  When I got there, it met all the requirements for a proper hair salon:

Skinny Chinese guys: CHECK
Skinny Chinese guys wearing tight pants: Double CHECK
Skinny Chinese guys with crazy copper hair: OH Triple CHECK
Blasting a mix of the worst American songs from 5 years ago: SUPER Quadruple CHECK

I was shuttled around from one spot to the other.  My hair was washed to the max.  I believe I may have lost some scalp in the process.  I then pointed to a photo that I liked.

Hindsight being 20/20,  I should have been more worried when I heard the word for "mushroom."  I sat there as he trimmed and trimmed away. 

Memorable moments  include when my favorite Pussy Cat Dolls song came on. Yes, I have a favorite Pussy Cat Dolls song.  No, I have no idea what it's called.  Mostly I like it because I wrote my own lyrics:

Butter up my muffins baby
but you keep frontin
saying that its no good for me
but I don't like margarine

Second memorable moment: when my stylist used a new type of hair spray on my hair.  The best was to describe it, axe body spray meets aquanet from the 90's.

As I mentioned previously, it was an impulsive moment, I picked out a hairstyle with bangs, parted on the other side, and very short.

After 2 hours, I got a very different haircut than the photo.  It is a big change.  I believe it resembles one of the styles below:

Yes, my work computer search history now has "Justin Beiber 2010," on the list.

This is what it actually looks like:

It's not the worst, its just strange, very mushroom like.  I can't stop giggling at how dumb I was for trying this.

[Man readers, you may want to check out here.  I am going to start writing about makeup.]

After the haircut, I decided that the best way to fix this, other than time and an arsenal of styling
products, was to wear lipstick.  I set off for the department store ASA-P.

Once again, everything is made for women to look like children.  EVERY lipstick had glitter.  Tacky tacky glitter. For the love of god.  I explained I wanted matte lipstick and the women looked at me like I was deranged.
 
I bounced and made a beeline for Sephora.  Thank you Sephora for being in China.  It wasn't much better there, but I did manage to find one color that I could pull off, and was sans glitter.  Yeah I had to pay $25 for a tube of lipstick, but I feel better.